Who are the . . .




The BowlerInvisible Boy, The Sphinx, The Shoveler, The Spleen, Mr. Furious and The Blue Raja.




MYSTERY MEN created by Bob Burden


We're not your classic heroes, we're the other guys.







Blue Raja, The
(Hank Azaria)

Real Name:
Jeffrey
Quotes:
"I'm not Stabman, I'm not... Knifey-Boy.
I'm the Blue Raja."


"We weren't expecting to see you again so... Spoon!"

Cliches:
  • Effete British-sounding Master of Silverware (4)
    • Tools: spoons, pie server and forks a specialty ie. a "Limey Fork-Flinger"
  • Bridal Shop Silverware Salesman (3)
  • Momma's boy (2)
  • British History Buff (1)










Bowler, The
(
Janeane Garofalo
)

Real Name:
Carole
Aliases: Baby Bowler
Quote:
"Here comes Daddy."

Cliches:
  • Avenging Bowling Powers (4)
    • Tools: Bowling Ball & Bag
  • College Graduate Student with an Acerbic Wit (3)
  • Sidekick: Carmine the Bowler [2]
    • Father's Skull encased in a clear Bowling Ball







Invisible Boy
(Kel Mitchell
)

Quote:
"Well, when you go invisible... you can feel it."

"I am transparent.  I am like the window.
I am see- through.  I'm like Saran Wrap..."


Cliches:
  • Overlooked & Ignored High-School Kid (3)
    • Can only become invisible if absolutely no one is looking at him -including himself
    • Ted (dad)
  • Eager Networking Hero Wannabe (2)
  • Comic Book Junkie (2)
  • Amateur Entomologist (1)









Mister Furious
(
Ben Stiller
)

Real Name: Roy
Aliases: Phoenix Dark, Dirk Steele, Dirk Phoenix
Quote:
"Don't mess with the volcano, my man.
'Cause I... will go
Pompeii on your... butt."

"Right now I'm kinda like a powder keg,
and you're the match."


Cliches:
  • Ticking Timebomb of Fury [3]
  • Automotive Junkyard Demolition Man (2)
    • Sally (boss of Auto Sally's Dismantlers) Quote: "Junk It!"
  • Bad Boy Wannabe (2)
    • Tools: Leather jacket and Harley-compatible motorcycle
    • Monica (Lakeside Diner waitress girlfriend)







Shoveler, The
(
William H. Macy
)

Real Name: Eddie
Quotes:

"We fight crime. Call it what you will."

"God gave me a gift. I shovel well.
 I shovel very well."


Cliches:
  • Overly Earnest Superhero with the Gift of Shoveling (4)
    • Tools: Shovel, Trowel, Catcher's Vest, Hardhat with spotlight
  • Underground Sewer-line Construction Worker (3)
  • Good Husband and a Good Father of Three (3)










Sphinx, The
(
Wes Studi
)

Quotes:
"We are number one.
All others are number two, or lower."


Cliches:
  • "Terribly Mysterious" Super Hero (4)
    • Retired Mexican Luchador (wrestler) with the power to cut guns in half with his mind
  • Master of Circular Parables and Zen Platitudes (3)
  • Busboy at Taco House Number Two (3)







The Zen of The Sphinx or Sphinxisms:

"The wise man knows that he is weakest when he thinks himself strong."


"You must be like the wolf pack.  Not like the six pack."

"You are not ready to face so great an enemy.
Not until you have vanquished the enemy within yourselves."


"To learn my teachings, I must first teach you how to learn."

"Learn to hide your strikes from your opponent
and you'll more easily strike his hide."


"You must lash out with every limb, like the octopus who plays the drums."

"He who questions training only trains himself at asking questions."

"When you can balance a tack hammer on your head,
you will head off your foes with a balanced attack."


"When you care for what is outside, what is inside cares for you."

"To summon your power for the conflict to come,
you must first have power over that which conflicts you."


"Until you learn to master your rage-- your rage will become your master."

"The loss of manpower can be replaced by the addition of firepower."

"Sometimes... the true hero is the one with the courage to run away."

"When you doubt your powers, you give power to your doubts."












Spleen, The
(
Paul Reubens
)

Quote:
"Pull my finger."

"S... B... D !"

Cliches:
  • Gypsy Cursed Silent But Deadly Flatulator (4)
    • As a courtesy The Spleen carries a small supply of wooden clothes pins for your nose.
  • "There's not enough beer in the world" unlucky at lover (2)

Origin:
"It all started when I was just thirteen years of age.  One day, while walking with some friends, I accidentally cut the cheese.  Well, in my adolescent awkwardness, I blamed it on an old gypsy woman who happened to be passing by.  Big mistake!  The gypsy woman placed a curse upon my head: Because I'd smelled it, she decreed I would forevermore be he who dealt it!"










The Mystery Men team


and sometimes helped by...








Doc Heller
(
Tom Waits
)

Real Name: Dr. Arthur Heller
Quote:
"My name's Heller.  Say it with me... Heller."

Cliches:
  • Non-Lethal Weapons Designer (4)
    • Canned Tornado
    • Shrinker
    • Blame Thrower
    • Glue Grenades
    • more...
  • Jack-of-All-Tradesman (4)
    • -See Doc Heller's business card
    • Innovator, Inventor, World Changer
    • Aromatherapist & Laser Hair Removal
    • Carnival Ride Operator & Chicken Farmer
  • "Elderly" Ladies Man (2)







Captain Amazing
(
Greg Kinnear
)

Real Name:
Lance Hunt
Quote:
"Here in Champion City we still do
a fairly brisk trade... in justice."


"Gum Disease and Gingivitis can be a crime,
that's why I use Mighty Whitey;
I want my teeth to look... Amazing."

Cliches:
  • Comically Conceited, Stupidly Smug & Vain Super Hero (4)
    • Tools: Armored Battle Suit, Jet Pack & Limo
  • Heavily Endorsed Publicity Hound & Super Spokesman (4)
    • Endorsements: Mighty Whitey Toothpaste, Jiffylube, Rayovac, Reebok, Team ASE, Konica, Pennzoil, Gumout, Shofar Foods, The Outlaw, JanSport, Hunt's SnackPack and Japanese Pepsi
    • Victor "Vic" Weems (Publicist)
  • Charming Philanthropist Billionaire Lawyer (4)

















The MYSTERY MEN's
The Blue Raja's
Messerschmitt 3 wheeler
The Shoveler's
Rambler Station Wagon
Tony P.'s
Cadillac
Casanova Frankenstein's
22 foot "stretch" Corvette

Visit the IMCDb.org's webpage on the cars of MYSTERY MEN




the BIG Bad and his gangs...









Casanova Frankenstein
(
Geoffrey Rush
)

Quote:
"You see, I kill my own men."

Cliches:
  • Criminally Insane Mastermind (5)
  • Master of Fingernail Fu (4)
  • Seductive Supervillain (3)
  • Drink Mixologist (2)


Weapons/Gadgets:
  • Sub-micronic Laser Index Ring
  • Psychotropic Bacterium Dart Launchers (hidden in slippers)
  • Cold Fusion Ultrasonic Neuro-stunner/Drink Stirrer
  • Chloroform-deploying Portable Enticement Snare (disguised as a Multi-frequency Radio Detonator)
  • Psycho-Frakulator
Evil Mansion/HQ with secure Disco Room
  • Laser EYE
  • Photon Eviscerator
  • Cybernetic Atom Scrambler
  • Heat-seeking Anthrax Projection Gun

Associated Gangs:

  • Disco Boys (lead by Tony P. and Tony C.)
  • Furriers - always dressed to kill
  • Frat Boys (Phi Zeta) - still on probation for lethal hazing
  • Not-So Goody Mob - putting the rhyme into crime
  • Suits (lead by Big Tobacco) - downsizing all who dare to oppose them
  • The Susies - assassins from the East









Tony P. and Tony C.
(Eddie Izzard) & (Pras as Prakazrel Michel
)

Real Names: Tony Pompadour
Quotes:

"Disco is NOT dead!
Disco is life!"


Cliches:
  • Disco Dancing Kings (4)
  • Protected by the God of Haircare (3)
    • Tools: Flaming Hairspray Can
  • Leaders of the Disco Boys gang/grunt-squad (5)

















They're not your average superheroes.



MYSTERY MEN poster MYSTERY MEN poster MYSTERY MEN poster

Click on images to see larger.





Visit the MYSTERY MEN Project website

Check out the MYSTERY MEN Wiki

See the MYSTERY MEN at Writeups.org

Make your own MYSTERY MEN Costumes


Last updated Feb. 2024
The DungeonMagus
by the DungeonMagus.